Greetings dear weird-movie-goesrs, this is your host: Mr. Towelhead. And its time for the mandatory shit movie review. Because as a reviewer The Last Airbender in 3D is one rite of passage. So lets celebrate mediocrity by reviewing this popular piece of shit. With all that being said, all rights belong to Satan himself (M. Night Shyamalan) and Paramount Pictures (distributor).
Mr. Towelhead reviews:
The Last Airbender in 3D
Avatar, or the Last Airbender in 3D is a fantasy adventure based on the popular cartoon of the same name created by Michael Dante DiMartino & Bryan Konietzko, both whom probably regret being alive now. Oh yeah, and its a “in 3D” Hollywood scam to get more money out of you.
The Last Airbender in 3D is directed, produced, written and prison-raped by M. Night Shyamalan. Who turned an already famous and beloved kid’s show into a hybrid cinematic monster of drama, action, bad CGI, some fantasy and HOURS of narration. Because that’s what kids are into these days. Right?
In a world where magic exists in the form of controlling earth, water, fire or wind, one dude is born with the power to control all four elements: The Avatar. This dude is not only the “chosen one” but a connection between the spiritual and physical world. Sounds amazing! Not only does the cartoon have an interesting lore, it scores many more points with being funny and full of well animated action scenes.
And what could better translate that into film than…
But for some reason Mr. Shyamalan, the director, decided to squeeze like five hundred episodes of the cartoon into a single cluster f**k of a BORING movie.
So we follow Ang, the “Avatar”, or the “Chosen One” through a mess of locations and abrupt, non-sensical character development. Ang goes from a cool kid, to scared kid, to a revolution fighter, to a scared kid again, to a demigod, to a scared kid again. We go from an oppressed inuit village, to a desecrated temple, to liberating a town of earth bending mages (who are literally surrounded by earth but never use it), to a realm of ice protected by spirit-fishes.
It’s nauseating how much they want to stuff into you and you end up not giving a single f**k about ANYTHING. It doesn’t help either that the cartoon had a very jovial tone about it, but the movie has an extremely DARK and serious (and boring) tone.
I mean, look at the bright colors and funny atmosphere!
Wow I bet they had such fun on set!
Images & Design
The design of monsters, locations, and clothes are barely decent, mainly because they are based on the cartoon. But the transition to film did not go well.
Just look at this hair design.
I mean, WHAT THE F**K!
The CGI is also terrible for most. I mean, yes, there are a few decent effects here and there [not really]. But the bad CGI combined with the horrible dancing, erhmmm… I mean fighting results in really stupid moments. Like: You have a bunch of “earth mages” hysterically flaying their arms like they are about to summon a Demon God of Earth…
And this happens…
I swear this is in the movie. A whimsical piece of debris!
To be fair there are some barely decent fights and there are some barely decent visual effects, but unfortunately they are all cramped at the end of the movie.
So all in all its not the worst movie of all times, but it gets pretty close to it. My five year old daughter enjoyed the fighting scenes but was bored out of her mind from everything else. Never again has she asked to see this colossal piece of boredom again, so that should tell you something about “The Last Airbender in 3D”.
Mr. Towelhead is not happy
3 / 10
By all means go watch the cartoon, even if you are an adult you will not regret it. What you will regret is wasting 103 minutes of your life in this piece of shit.