Once again we do a popular movie. Because f*** yeah AMEEEERICA! Product Placement the Movie, I mean. Transformers 4: Age of Extinction is as far as it gets from my usual reviews (weird movie review dah!) But who cares! Well do it, FOR FREEeDOM! And I am definitely not doing it to get more views. OH NO BABAY!

So any way all images are belong to your god and saviour Michael Bay (director) and Paramount Pictures (distributors) used for educational purposes. Education of the most badass movie of ALL TIMES.

Mr. Towelhead is “happy” to review:

transformers4_cover

Transformers 4: Age of Extinction

Robots, dinosaur-robots, actors with the emotional range of a robot and of course Megan Fox, erhmm… I mean, some hot chick. :D

Transformers 4 is an American action film of 2014 directed by your man Michael Bay and written by Ehren Krueger. Its of course based on the cartoon, which is based on the toy series from Hasbro (the evil incarnate). Enough said.

Concept

Its an action film with robots with the clear intent to sell toys afterwards. At the beginning we have some human-character development (not really), so there are more of humans and less of robots. But fortunately we move away from the stupid humans as the movie progresses and by the end its all EXPLOSIONS and BATTLES and what not.

I’m not gonna lie, some of the CGI was pretty decent.

transformers4_bad guy

Story? Who cares.

Story

Is there a story? Not really. In all honesty, what were you expecting.

But if you must know: Its exactly the same as always. Humans get angry with the good robots. We tell them to f*** off. The bad guys wreck havoc. We humans scream like bitches. The good robots come back to save us. Academy award for best story, here we come.

And of course. Insert legendary plot device number 4 and you got yourself a movie.

Battles

The battles and CGI (computer animated images) are the highlight of the film. As you would expect. For my money the battles and animation were on target, and quite on target. Logic, story, continuity, the flow of day and night, they are all thrown down the window for the sake of an engaging image. But hey, at least the battles are cool.

Optimus has to beat the dino into submission! And then RIDE him!

transformers4_submission

I don’t get what is Michael Bay trying to say with this?

One thing though. Some moments in the battles are a tinny bit mature. I mean these are robots and what not but they are very human-looking robots. And so we see them slashing faces open with knifes, reaping hearts out and slicing enemies in half while the victims put on horrendous faces… horrendous robotic-faces of pain. Good stuff… I guess?

While I was thrilled and my inner bloodthirst satisfied. I don’t think its ok for PG-13.

Projecting Yourself

There are a few other things that I found… interesting to say the least. Michael Bay can’t help himself when it comes to portraying women in a sexualised manner. But the main chick is a minor, and what’s more, the movie confronts us with a whole dialogue about it being ok to date underaged women and what not. To which I thought, do I really need to know this?

I still don’t get it?

transformers4_booty

What is Michael Bay trying to say with this shot?

The other thing that I found silly (and kind of funny): Is that Mark Wahlberg has the body, acting range and intelligence of a frat-boy-douchbag, and yet he’s supposed to be an inventor. But not just a garage mechanic. No, no, no, no, NO! An inventor who conjures more advanced robots than the NASA. But he’s still got time to spend with his daughter :D And yes poor?

Verdict

All criticism of Transformers 4 is really nitpicking. The second you gave your ticket-entrance-money you accepted the fact that you will be f***ed up your sensitive spot by Michael Bay. There’s four of these freaking things already, so really what the hell were you expecting?

If your expectations are lower then low, if you can turn your brains off, never mind the fact that the hot chick is underage and look aside the shameless product placement. Transformers 4 is for you.

Mr. Towelhead is not happy but who cares AMERRRRRICA!:

7 / 10

I gets a ton of bad points because Megan Fox is not here. But for my taste and expectations I got my money back. Shia LaShit and his parents are gone (thank God) and while Mark Wahlberg is definitely a racist douche, he’s at least a charming-badass-racist douche.

But granted, most of the CGI was terrible.

transformers4_shiii

Transformium ladies and gentle, better known as ProductPlacementium

What definitely needs to be said is. If you like a smarter action flick. You should stay far away from this piece of crap.

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