Once upon a time, a promising horror movie was trailered. SUNSHINE. Back then I was young and stupid and thought it sucked balls hard. Many years later, I hear, that actually Sunshine wasn’t a horror movie at all, but an underrated, under-appreciated master piece of science fiction. So lets watch it again and review it! All images belong to Danny Boyle (director) and Fox Searchlight Entertainment (distributor), used fairly to educate you on this piece of shit, I mean, this misunderstood master film.

Mr. Towelhead reviews:

sunshine_cover

Sunshine

The sun is dying and its up to us to save it. FOR FREEEDOM! FOR AMEERICCCA. Or something. Sci-fi, horror Danny Boyle and space, what could possibly go wrong with this movie?

Sunshine was a 2007 British science fiction, “horror” film by Danny Boyle, written by Alex Garland and distributed by the Fox Searchlight dudes. It was marketed as a horror thingy, even though its more of a cerebral science fiction movie. And what is Cerebral? Something psychological, thought provoking.

Concept

The basic idea behind it, its quite unclear to be honest. You could argue its an unconventional science fiction flick with religious undertones and a thin buttered spread of psycho-horror. Or, its just a horror flick. Either way works fine. At the end of the day, the though of an unconventional-science fiction-horror-flick-in space-with religious undertones sounds awesome.

Story

The sun is dying (for some reason) and humans need to repair it.  However, in order to fix the sun we, humans do the following:

1. We put every bomb on the planet into a BIG bomb.

2. Big bomb is flown to the sun by seven idiots I mean, an interracial crew of the smartest people on Earth.

Our only hope is a bomb into the sun.

sunshine_crew

Lets send a few idiots who are too young and hot-headed to be astronauts or smart.

Why not send an entire FUUUUU*ing army and like twenty bombs? I mean, it’s not like the fate of humanity is on the line. Right?

3. Big bomb needs to explode in the sun to make it work again… For some reason.

4. But wait! It gets better! They find a precursor spaceship that failed, sooooooooo… They decide to jeopardize the mission because, why send one big bomb, when you can send TWO big bombs. GENIUS!

Long story short. The movie really is three movies. Each act has a completely different vibe to it. The first act/the first movie is a super depressive, thought provoking journey to acceptance if you like. Characters are talking about the dying sun, their hopes, about the people they have at home. Its sad and touchy feeling. Yey!

The second act/the second movie is a disaster film in space. Everything goes wrong and they must repair, take quick decisions and make sacrifices in order to save humanity. It gets intense and badass. Although characters are so stupid its pitiful to watch. But still the movie is rescuable.

And now welcome to the third act of a really smart movie.

sunshine_slasher

What the hell!

And you thought Sunshine was a really smart, cerebral, intelligent, religiously undertoned master piece of science fiction? The third act/the third movie is a B-rated, slasher film. Things get bunkers as the film decides to become a low-budget-monster flick. A bad, low-budget monster flick like Creature or Movie 43. For some reason even the cinematography suffers with amateur techniques like shaky cam, lens flares and blurred images.

Stupidity

There is no other way to call this section. If you’ve seen the movie Prometheus you know the feeling: The movie tries to be smart and cool but the characters make and suggest the stupidest things. So let us delight in Danny Boyle’s idiocy shall we?

The sun is dying and the best they muster up is a bomb? What the FU*! I’m no scientist but the very notion of such a stupid idea gave me cancer. Picture this. You have a match and the flame is going out, Danny Boyle suggests you throw a grenade at it. You know. To rekindle the flame DAH!

I like the suits and the feeling they convey as you look from the actor’s perspective.

sunshine_suit

But. Who designed such a counterproductive helmet? I mean its not like humanity depends on this mission… Right?

The movie pretends to have the smartest people on the planet. And yet they fix parts of the ship going from the closest to safety to the farthest; obviously running out of time while they are farthest from safety. I’m no genius by any means, but even I would do it the other way around.

Also, they are really smart (so the movie tells us), yet each has no clue what the others are doing. Like the pilot knows nothing about the bomb, and the “bomb expert” has no clue about space. WHAT, in THE FUUUUUUU*! Who trained these assholes! I would make damn sure each actor, I mean astronaut, could finish the freaking mission alone if needed.

And the cream of the crop: The dudes jump naked through the emptiness of space from one ship to the other. And they make it to the other side just fine.

Jump naked through space. No biggy

sunshine_dumb

WUUUUUUUUUUUT!

I mean, why not right? Its not like space is full of extreme temperatures, vacuum and deadly radiation. No, no, no, no… And by the way, did you know that you can blow your brains out with a shotgun and be fine! As long as you very quickly put all the tiny little brain pieces into your skull :D right? Right? RIGHT!

(╯°□°)╯︵  ┻━┻

Barely in mind, dear reader, these are only a few of the most aggravating bullshits presented to us.

REligious StUUUUuuff

The story has an undertone of religious defiance, commentary or appraisal. Honestly I don’t know, and its so poorly and/or obviously done I don’t care. The ship is called Icarus, we have humans trying solving celestial problems, the nut-job of the bad guy talks to God. More than anything else these “religious” stuff is thrown at the screen in the vain hopes of sprinkling the movie with intelligence. They failed.

Something Decent?

Well yes there are a few decent things. The mood and the cinematography are super neat.

The badass intensity is not Danny Boyle’s merit though :D

sunshine_dude

Mr. Alwin H. Kuchler was the cinematographer :)

The music and cinematography are amazing. The feeling of depression, being trapped, struggling to survive against all odds is masterfully conveyed through the score and the camera work. Until you reach the third act when everything turns to manure.

Verdict

Sunshine does a few things right, unfortunately these few are drown in an ocean of the dumbest things. And the last part of the movie, its well… there is no way to describe it. Think about it this way: You see the first act of the English Patient, then you see the second act of Volcano and then you see the last act of Freddy vs Jason.

Mr. Towelhead is not happy:

4 / 10

It gets a few extra points because the music and photography. Otherwise. Either you pull the Danny Boyle fan-boy out of your ass and recognize that Sunshine is shit. Or you are a normal human being and recognize that Sunshine is shit.

I do feel sorry for Cillian Murphy though…

sunshine_cillian

Some people hate you. But I still love you! <3

You know what would have been cool. If the movie took another daring change of tone in the end and the sun be turned into a giant meat ball that photosynthesized plants into bacon :D That would be a 10/10 in my dictionary.

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