So this thingy is a South Korean sky-high budget extravaganza with little care for details, or story, or script, or actors, or anything except video game badassness :P Any jow. All images are belong to Shim Hyung-rae (director) and Showbox Freestyle Releasing (distributor). We’ll use them to educate our sorry little lives in how to properly use Computer Generated Images, yo’.

Mr. Towelhead reviews:

dwar_cover

Dragon Wars

D-War, Dragon Wars or what-ever other marketing iteration of the name… is the result of uncontrolled trust in a director, Shim Hyung-rae who also acts as script writer. The movie its sort of a fantasy, action, disaster movie and video game oriented compilation. Considering the sheer amount of CGI (computer generated images) in the movie, you could basically call this thing an animation.

Concept

Is there a concept to this thing? HELL NO!

Why even bother with an idea behind it all …

dwar_snake

when you got Giant Snakes on a PLANE! I mean a building.

Story

Is there a story to this thing? Kinda’ [at best]. There is a prophecy behind it all, that has to do with a girl and a bunch of dragons. Bad dragons and good dragons. There is some sort of past event that relates to the what’s going on in the present. But many times scenes are just recycled and so you’ll have trouble following what belongs to when… so to speak.

Jurassic Park meets Lord of the Rings…

dwar_antagonist

… meets Neo-Nazi Zombies from Space on Velociraptors

Long story short: Girl, prophecy, girl dead, prophecy, DRAGONS, girl back… or something, roll credits.

Its baffling how complicated the story tries to be, in a movie called Dragon Wars?! Its beyond our eyes, as audience, how much the movie tries to cover: From past events, contemporary disaster-movie / total war between CGI dinosaurs and CGI helicopters, end of the world prophecy and just how, HOW much CGI-things are randomly-ish thrown at the screen.

Images

This high-budget, cult-following-worthy movie has, believe or not, some decent CGI (computa’ generated images, ‘case you forgot). Decent as in Playstation 2 era for most of them… What I mean is that the CGI is terrible for the most, recycled and a sad excuse for lacking a story, a villain and a final confrontation… Literally, the antagonist of the movie is a CGI thing on top of a triceratops or something and the ultimate villain is a CGI snake.

Perhaps I’m been to rational, there are some cool CGI moments… unfortunately these cool moments are drowned in a sea of bad CGI.

The so-called Dawdlers launching rockets are kinda’ cool …

dwar_dawdler

… gotta give credit where credit is due.

Video Game

Dragon Wars IS a video game, with different levels, boss battles and a crazy giant final boss fight between two CGI snakes, oh wait, “dragons“. A battle that is supposed to be the final battle for Earth, or time and space or some bullshit, sorry “b.s.” The battle ends and you get some weird dialogue, the hero leaves the scene, roll credits. 100% Video game approved.

Verdict

Is it something to remember? Well, it was definitely something to laugh at. I can only guess that high, drunk or CHAUKLETwasted… it could be a trippy experience.

“Ethan don’t be sad.” – Girl

dwar_sad

Sure darling, the world is destroyed, the girl is dead and I’m lost in the middle of a threatening dessert, why should I be sad?!

Mr. Towelhead wishes it were drunk:

5 / 10

Its not bold enough to deserve a cult-following nor is it a “its-so-bad-its-good” movie. Its depressing to notice how the story, music, actors and the animations try to be taken seriously while everything is just plain awful. At the very, very least it made more than double its budget so it was financially successful. Sadly. On the bright side, if you’re so drunk or high anything could make you laugh Dragon Wars might be a good movie.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s