28 Weeks Later is the sequel to the successful zombie-apocalypse movie 28 Days Later. My biggest mistake was to hope this would be the holy grail of zombie movies, you know, just like the first movie. What we got for our naiveté and movie-ticket-price was a round, corn-adorned, steamy ball of feces right out of Juan Carlos Fresnadillos’ rectum. All images are belong to that prick (director) and 20th Century Fox, used to demonstrate how a wonderful zombie franchise can be f*ed up, strangled and thrown as a lifeless-movie-carcass to the audience (and we are to pay for it).

Mr. Towelhead reviews:

28weeks_cover

28 Weeks Later

First things first. 28 Weeks Later is a 2007 zombie-apocalypse movie directed and co-written by Juan Carlos Fresnadillos, written by Rowan Joffé and distributed by 20th Century Fox. Its a cooperation of British and Spanish production. Danny Boyle and Alex Garland (instrumental to 28 Days Later) produced this movie and thus we blame them as well for not chastising the film’s production into a decent product. The thingy, like it predecessor is a society-drama (well at least it tries to be) amidst a zombie-apocalypse, and its sprinkled with military-social-drama. Basically it follows the same formula as the first movie.

The zombies are back …

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… oh sorry, that was offensive, the infected people are back :P

Story

England was in quarantine due to the last movie’s infection, once the zombies all starve to death people repopulate the island. A super advanced military-“government”-thing is in charge of supervising the process. At the same time they do research in order to eliminate possible infections and maybe, even, find a cure. Things take on a “new” direction when immune-survivors are found.

Look mate, a band of walking cliches, I mean our band of heroes.

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They be badass as hell, until the script demands they stupefy and die.

Every impressive precaution established at the beginning of this travesty is flushed down the toilet for the sake of “tension” (artificial tension really). Because, of course, everything has to go wrong. The story tickles our sense of decency as it portrays a journey full of dangers and sacrifices as the “heroes” try to save a couple of kids who are instrumental to the “plot”, erhmmm… I mean the “story”. Sounds good right?

Concept

28 Weeks Later tries to be original or different by adding “new” things to the mix. Like the whole unexplained thing with immunities, it presents us with “smart” infected (for no reason what so ever). At the end of the day, its a trying-to-survive-horror-film with tons of blood and gore, its based on a cool story (the first movie) but has no story, moral or anything behind. Just gore for the sake of gore, which is good and dandy but not what you’d expect from a 28 Days Later sequel.

The gore department did its job well.

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Props to that.

What annoyed me to the top was the unchecked used of copy-paste. The music of the previous film was used ALL the time, and situations, even movements iconic to the first movie were copied in 28 Weeks Later even though they made abs abso-f*ing-lotely no sense what so ever in the new circumstances.

Images

The movie presents some badass scenarios with amazing cinematography. The new government installations look high-tec and realistic, the fields, the infected streets of London, abandoned buildings and house, they all look the part. The movie is also gorey as hell, and incredible well done in that regard, zombies and people being slashed or blown to bits are satisfyingly well produced and at least in that department you’ll get your money back. But that’s more of a disappointment coming from a terrific film (28 Days Later) that was bloody and gorey as hell AND featured a nice and fairly original story.

Nonsense

I have no other word to describe this department of the review. What really drove me away, constantly, from the 28 Weeks Later experience is the nonsensical bs that was thrown at me. From details to idiotic cinema sins that made no sense what so ever and were rammed down my throat for the sake of the script or the director’s ego.

I don’t like to include spoilers, but this time, its worth it, so:

WARNING SPOILERS AHEAD

To make sure the infection never happens again the military-“government”-thing keep infected people in “high” security areas, totally accessible to civilians. Brilliant! When the infection begins (again…) the military gathers all civilians in packed dark room with cramped open doors where infected can easily go in. Bravo! Infected can’t operate doors [for all we know] but they manage to infiltrate the MOST advanced high-tec-military headquarters in the world. Easy! I mean did they use curtains for of doors or what?

The movie also goes out of its way to present us likable characters to whom we are, apparently, supposed to root for. However all of them die in fairly dumb ways in order to save the kids. Lastly the movie gives you a final slap in the face when the kids die any way. Haha, joke’s on you dear weird-movie-goer. So basically we just watched an hour and a half of intense struggle of survival for nothing.

And if the bad zombies aren’t enough, what could possibly be missing in a really bad trash movie… bad humans. Every freaking soldier in the movie [except the hero of course] goes on killing spree murdering innocent civilians that are clearly not infected, because, well, why the hell not. Right? I mean seriously at least the military dudes from the first movie where actually concerned with saving people [and raping women].

Movie Cliche Nr. 107: Stupid Military Goons

28week_badsoldiers

These idiots do nothing but kill civilians and get eaten by zombies.

The worst of it all is that the movie tries to convince you that three infected dudes limping out of a downed helicopter that just crashed landed after flying over the North Sea (coming out of a quarantined zone mind you) was all it took to destroy the world (a.k.a. infect the rest of the world). I mean, F*ING really?!! Don’t you think that Spain’s, France’s or any military in the freaking world would blow to bits anything suspicious coming out of the infected Island they just lost contact with??

RELAX DUDES, SPOILERS END

Dialogues, sounds and music are barely decent because they copy pasted them from the first movie, so its rather annoying that the sequel didn’t bring anything new AND decent to the mix.

Verdict

I am appalled that 28 Weeks Later seems to have been a commercial success. This is not an achievement of Juan Carlos Fresnadillos but a testimony of how easily humans are fooled (see also the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise). If this movie would have been its own IP (intellectual property or franchise) it would have been a fairly messed up and sad experience, but respectable in that. As a badly done, forced sequel to an awesome movie it really just soiled the former.

What better way to show that infected have reached the mainland?

28weeks_ending

Lets throw them in front of an iconic landmark! TA DAH! Oscars here we go!

Mr. Towelhead is extremely DISAPPOINT

1 / 10

COMMERCIAL POISON!

28 Weeks Later is cinematic poison and an insult to the movie that spawned it. The gore scenes are amazing, yes, but that’s it, the rest of the nonsensical excuses to push the movie forward will pull you out of the experience, because as a whole the movie tries to be realistic [I mean, realistic within the boundaries of a zombie-apocalypse].

Last but not least, 28 Weeks Later doesn’t make fun of animal activists that’s why it gets a 1 out of 10 instead of a 2. Because f* PETA. Sorry, I mean, fuck PETA.

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