For once we do a popular franchis, but we’ll do it FAST n’ FURIOUSLY. All images are belong to Epic Games (developers) Microsoft Studios (publisher) and Cliff Bleszinski (designer).

Mr. Towelhead reviews SHORTLY the series of:



Gears of War released in 2006 , numba’ two in 2008 and numero tres in 2011. A freaking third person shooter game with incredible detail on the cover system, ballistics (like you can see the flare and smoke of each bullet from a machine gun), blood and gore, multiplayer and some more blood and gore.

The game borders contemporary science fiction, with post-apocalyptical scenarios and humanoid enemies. [Inhuman enough to quiet your consciousness and human enough to satisfy you when you chainsaw them in half]

Our dear protagonist getting really close and comfy with an enemy S:


Markus is not a man of half measures, … get it :l


Kill everything in front of you, take cover or die.


What story? And while we are at it, be ready to turn off your logic, common sense and self-preservation instincts.

Be ready to meet the most incompetent Brass of Video Game-History


The human government/military does, in increasing order of mass destruction: human experiments, blows up a lightmass-bomb in the underground of the planet, sink underwater the last city they could retreat to, expose the population to a highly-contagious, pathogenous, parasitical lifeform, bombard from orbit the entire planet and (drums please) release an airborne half-tested vaccine that could potentially end ALL life in the planet. Easy.


If you like heart-pounding action, EXPLOOOoouSIONS!, really bad “one-liners” and a decreasingly relevant story.

Gears of War 1, 2 and 3 deserve a:

10 / 10

Then again …


If you analyze the “story” of Gears of War, you’ll realize that, all the locusts ever wanted was a place to call home (same goes for the imulsion), and that humans are the nastiest, stupidest, ruthless, most authoritarian force in the planet.


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