Mr. Towelhead finally bought, played and finished Dead Space 3. In all of his rushed glory Dead Space 3 is… well it is. All images are copyright of EA Games and Visceral Games, fair-used to foster video game education :D and of course educate you on the latest title of the Dead Space franchise. Enjoy, sort of…

Mr. Towelhead reviews:



Dead Space 3 was released in Februrary of 2013 by Electronic Arts and developed by Visceral Games. The game was produced by Steve Papoutsis once again and it remains a survival horror, third person shooter, science fiction game. Dead Space 3 is very similar to Dead Space 2 in being more about jump scares rather than psychological horror, and being more combat oriented than Dead Space 1. With a few new twists and changes in gameplay it tries to further immerse the player while being more money oriented… I mean more multiplayer oriented (Damn you EA Games!).


The basic idea is the same as before, you are an “engineer” with the skills of a badass space marine. Dismemberment is the key to finish enemies and preserve precious ammo, so accuracy is still key. The only big change is that, instead of money you gather spare parts to construct weapons, weapon modificators and items. You have an universal magazine that is good for all weapons (why not) and, well that’s it. The game has nothing innovative on its own. You can play co-op, which is new in the Dead Space franchise, but far from new in the gaming world. Of course you can only play online, no split-screen (which means you have to pay more) and the game includes conveniently placed levels that can only be accessed via money-making… I mean co-op online.

Your partner in crime. Carver.


Well.. at least in co-op some of the dialogues change slightly.


The story of the Dead Space franchise has never been particularly original, it is rather cliché. And so Dead Space 3 is like a silly science fiction movie, basically an excuse of a story to fight monsters in space, but it works just the same. Provided the story of Dead Space 1 bordered originality and coolness, Dead Space 3 is nothing to remember, but nothing unexpected.

Wait a second, didn’t Ellie loose an eye, had smaller boobs and a fiercer attitude?


Well at least… at least… at least her name is still Ellie. Right?

Oh yes, there are a few inconsistencies and new characters that are more cliché than cliché. Enjoy.

BTW! One of the things that infuriated me is that at the beginning of the game the cliché-esque story sets a monster outbreak in the middle of a heavily inhabited colony, which seemed like a NAUGHTY-as-hell idea and scenario for the game… but seconds later you are back in space in the usual abandoned-station levels as before. So basically, they tickled you with a cool setting just to “shock-space-drive” you to the exact same scenarios as the previous games.

OH but WAIT! Dead Space 3 features outdoor sections in a freezing planet! How f*king original… Paint everything white with occasional white rain (snow) et voilà.

OH but WAIT! Dead Space 3 features indoors of an alien city… Well o.k. the last part was bordering some decency. Gotta be honest.


Gameplay is the same as Dead Space 2. In Zero G you can fly, in scripted flying sections you can go about shooting and avoiding debris. Stasis (slow down enemies and things around you) works the same as before. Kinesis (pull objects towards you and shoot them forward) works the same as before. There are sections where you can climb or rappel down a mountain, that’s new but works almost the same as walking, just vertically…

So yes, the game plays exactly the same as before. Although your melee attack is a bit improved it is still basically worthless.


The game is slightly less linear as you can go to co-op only missions between the game, and, at least at the beginning, you can travel between different locations. But after a certain points it becomes linear as hell, as usual. So no surprise.

You will be facing exactly the same issues as always. Nothing works, the protagonist has to repair everything. All goes wrong and you have to, somehow, progress while your partners do nothing more than offer cheers or screams.


Dead Space 3 features the most cliché bad guy of the series…


… ladies and gentlemen, Sir Elton John… erhm… I mean Bad Villain nr. 3

At least Kendra (Dead Space 1) had big boobs and Tiedeman (Dead Space 2) had zeal. Danik (Dead Space 3) has… well, I don0t know… I wonder how do they get the peanuts inside their shell?


The only new addition is that you can build your weapons from spare parts, but new weapon designs are locked until you progress to a certain part of the game. So basically, spare parts work just like money. And instead of carrying four weapons you can only carry two “double” weapon. Same, same but different.

Quick time events are back and work just like Dead Space 2. Fail and you die. But unlike Dead Space 2, the newest of the franchise seems to have been nerfed down on the gore factor (less gore).


Unlike Dead Space 2 and 1, monster design is boring in Dead Space 3. Old enemies look horrible, blend and lame. The game’s graphics are bad except for outer space environments. New monsters are barely decent in design but far from o.k. Sound design is basically the same as before, perhaps even worst considering the uninspiring dialogues.

It goes as far as including regular human enemies, and monsters that look like humans…

At least the new monster, the “feeder” is decent.


What I don’t understand, is why are the old ones so lame?


I mean WHY?! The Puker looked amazing in Dead Space 2 and now look at this monstrosity… of lameness

The new characters couldn’t be any lamer, and the graphics are horrible. The characters of Dead Space look way better. The cast themselves look like a roller-coaster of racial clichés and science fiction clichés, even their voices sound like what you would expect of this un-original bastards.

And here they are, the most blend of character casts eva’


Some of the ideas are o.k.-ish at best, but handled with little to no care. You have to fight a moon as the final-boss, but instead of flying in a vortex of badassness, you have to walk to the moon. I mean walk? In the middle of a mealstorm? LAME!

Most enemies behave the same as before (recycled animations) and the gore factor has been semi-reduced for some baffling reason. It is still there, but somehow gore scenes are cut and blurred. LAME!


Dead Space 3 is fun, no doubt about it, but is is far from a good game. If you are a fan you’ll forgive it and like it (marginally) and otherwise there is but one absolute truth about the game. Dead Space 3 would have been a great game if the development team would have worked another half-a-year on it.

Mr. Towelhead is disappoint…

6 / 10

Give it a 7 if you a fan.

I think that EA Games is earning what they have sown in the last years of greed; and we as the fans have to pay the price for trusting such an evil company :D Sadly. If one thing I can humbly say is this. God I wish I had a Playstation 3 to check out The Last of Us.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s